PAUL McKENNA reveals mind tricks to overcome stress and banish lockdown blues

For the last 12 months, we have largely dealt with a pandemic that has severely affected our health, wealth and general wellbeing.

Another tough ban brings new challenges – but at least with the introduction of a mass vaccination program against Covid-19, the end is in sight.

Now, however, another pandemic is beginning to set in – a psychological one that is directly related to the acute sense of danger we have lived with for so long.

Every therapist I know tells me that their skills have never been in demand as they are now. You are inundated with requests for help from people suffering from stress, insomnia, low self-esteem, strained relationships, and a general feeling of unhappiness.

I get that. Many mornings during this pandemic, I woke up feeling troubled by something I can’t fully address – unsettled by goodness-know-what – before I had a chance even three feet To ask ground.

I would be surprised if you hadn’t felt more or less a similar sense of foreboding over the past few months.

Perhaps you have also seen that your sleep is disturbed and you are not motivated. So much insecurity has marred your confidence in your own abilities.

People often tell me that their relationships with family and friends seem particularly broken right now.

Let me first give you some reassurance: this is all perfectly normal.

These are the manifestations of stress and worry that we as humans are pre-programmed to respond to when we run into a long-term crisis like this.

The coronavirus has turned our world upside down.

It can help you know that there is a scientific explanation for how we feel.

For a year now, part of our brain, the amygdala, in which we process feelings of threat and fear and which trigger a fight or flight response, has been stimulated strongly and constantly.

Think about it: At every turn we have been advised to remain vigilant – making sure to protect ourselves and keep our loved ones and those who care for us safe.

This, of course, is a crucial message that we must take to heart.

It is not surprising, however, that a collective state of such high alert has also affected our emotional well-being. The result is the psychological crisis that develops around us.

It has been reported that more than six million people were prescribed antidepressants in the three months leading up to September, the highest number ever recorded.

A survey by the Office of National Statistics, conducted at the start of the first national lockdown, found that around half of the UK adult population – around 25 million people – reported having high levels of anxiety.

That’s more than double the number of people (21 percent) who suffered from the same stress in another study in the last three months of 2019.

But please do not think that this means that we have become helpless in the face of a tsunami of fear and worry.

Although we feel locked up again, it is possible to use this time to move forward so that on the other hand we feel mentally stronger, not weaker.

My strategies to help you cope

First of all, you need to think of your brain as a brilliant computer that has its own software to organize your thinking and behavior.

Next, you need to realize your own ability to reprogram this computer: stop the negative programs running in your subconscious and replace them with software that instead fills it with positive thoughts and feelings.

Starting today and through next week, I will be providing a lot of psychological insight into what you are feeling during these difficult times.

I will also explain why this happens and recommend various tricks and techniques that will be vital in helping you adjust negative thinking. There are five key areas that we will focus on: stress, confidence, happiness, sleep, and relationships.

My goal is to give you the tools you need to reprogram your own brain, relieve feelings of fear and stagnation, and rebuild feelings of hope and purpose.

The vaccination program gives a sense of an endpoint – something that has been withheld from us for so long. That means we can finally look to the future again.

And if we are to fully embrace all that the future has to offer, now is the time to nurture a more positive state of mind.

One morning I said to my wife, “I feel so flat.” I had just awakened from another troubled sleep that was plagued by nightmares.

She pointed out that since the beginning of the crisis I had a habit of having the TV news in the background almost every day – I fed my brain on a diet of constant bad news.

Many friends told me that they had done the same thing and that they were also feeling scared.

I came to the conclusion that staying in the know was important, even though it was important to stay informed. We trained to be afraid.

That would have been okay if that fear had protected us. After all, staying vigilant to keep the virus under control was important – but staying home, socially distancing yourself outdoors, wearing a mask, and washing our hands were the limits of our role in combating this threat .

I thought back to my pre-pandemic habits and remembered staying up to date by reading my daily newspaper, watching an evening news show, and checking the headlines online maybe two or three times a day.

When I came back to it, I would be kept informed and able to focus on everyday tasks without being constantly afraid.

I felt the benefits almost immediately as I started to sleep better and my anxiety levels subsided. I made a vow to stick with my system to stay updated, but not to be afraid during the current lockdown.

I suggest you do the same.

Find the Secret Signs of Stress: Do you feel moody? Make silly mistakes? These are all classic indicators that you struggle with – but there is a solution

I believe stress lies at the heart of so much modern malaise – it causes insomnia, makes us feel bad and miserable, and we feel disconnected from our loved ones and the rest of the world.

It is behind the terrible feeling of being out of life and just watching what is going on.

The problem is, many of us have gotten so used to being stressed out, especially in the past 12 months, that we no longer fully realize how normal feels.

Psychologists refer to the cumulative effects of adapting to increasingly uncomfortable circumstances as “background stress”.

If you haven’t mastered the art of deep relaxation, you are likely experiencing exactly what you are experiencing.

The knot in your stomach, that foggy feeling in your brain – you kind of accepted that this is how you feel these days instead of realizing it as a response to stress.

Stress often goes unnoticed in the body for a long time and eventually shows up in the form of bad mood, loss of sense of humor, headaches, clashes, and silly mistakes.

Ultimately, it can lead to depression, anxiety, and illness.

This seems especially true when we are living through the Covid era where we had to go on with constant background stress with no clear end in sight.

Fortunately, we now have a vaccination program. However, it might take a while to get started. Telling yourself, “After I get my sting, when my loved ones have been vaccinated, I’ll be less stressed out” is not the answer. That is, you are relying on an external event to resolve your fears.

Dr. Hans Selye, the father of modern stress research, remarked: “It is not the event, but our interpretation that arouses our emotional response.”

Therefore, we need to master the ability to control our response to stress. Otherwise, chronically poor mental health will be the permanent legacy of these troubled times.

Our bodies are really wonderful. Without you paying attention, your autonomic nervous system (ANS) beats your heart, your lungs breathes, and just the right amount of blood and oxygen is pumped around your body for everything to work.

The ANS consists of several parts. The most important of these when it comes to understanding and controlling your stress levels are the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).

Imagine walking in the park on a nice sunny day. Suddenly a crazy dog ​​appears around the corner and comes straight towards you. Do you turn around and run away or do you stay to defend yourself?

This is known as the “fight or flight” response – and it’s handled by the SNS, which floods your system with adrenaline and cortisol, and pumps extra blood and oxygen to your limbs so you can run away faster or fight with more strength.

The parasympathetic nervous system plays an entirely different role – it helps you rest and digest.

Let me explain how using the same scenario as before. Imagine again, you are walking in the park on a beautiful, sunny day. But this time there are no dogs and just the right number of people, with plenty of room for everyone.

You sit down to relax under a tree and your body begins to recharge – your heart beats slower, which in turn lowers your blood pressure and begins to digest whatever is in your system.

This is your body’s natural impulse to rest, relax, and recover, and is technically known as the parasympathetic response. Or as I describe it, “natural relaxation”.

Natural relaxation is that sweet, soft feeling you get in your muscles when you finish heavy work or vigorous movements.

You will also feel a natural high caused by the release of endorphins, the body’s natural opiates.

As wonderful as it feels, it would be virtually impossible to work if you had always felt this way. You’d be too relaxed to even get started. And so both systems work together.

Ideally, we spend most of our time walking in and out of a sense of relaxed alertness.

If we wanted to relax deeply, say, before falling asleep at night, we could do it quickly and easily.

But when the situation calls for it, we would immediately have an outbreak of “stress chemicals” so that we can respond appropriately to a potentially dangerous situation.

What we describe as “being stressed” is simply the result of one system (the stress response) doing too much and the other system (natural relaxation) not being used enough.

Even if you forget about Covid, everyone has some stress in their life, but hardly anyone has the skills to deal with it.

In normal times, a staggering 50 percent of the reasons people see a doctor are stress-related.

As we’ve already researched, the stress response originally evolved as something practical – a way for our ancestors to receive a burst of energy and strength that would enable them to fight a wild animal or run away.

But today, the attacks that our nervous system protects us from are not things to either fight or run away from.

Now, think about something that you have been stressed about: work, a relationship problem, or maybe a financial concern. Chances are there was no real physical danger – just discomfort.

Even with Covid, our fears are predominantly existential, there is nothing tangible to fight or flee from.

Unfortunately, the human nervous system cannot tell the difference between present danger and fearful thoughts.

This means that all you have to do is think of something bad to produce the same stress chemicals that your body needs to fight or flee. And without the physical activity they are designed to help you with, the body cannot eliminate them.

Over time, these stress chemicals build up become toxic to the mind and body.

The power of the hand on the heart

Your heart contains neurons that send information to the brain and affect your perceptions, emotions, and consciousness.

The heart is the physical control center that determines whether the stress response or natural relaxation should be triggered.

This is how it works. The brain takes in information through the senses. When it senses a real or imaginary threat, it sends a signal to the heart to produce adrenaline, cortisol, and other chemicals that increase the body’s ability to fight that threat or run away from it.

What is crucial, however, is that the heart can overwrite this signal.

When you move your attention from your head to your heart, your body relaxes, your mind clears, and your brain releases chemical changes that cause natural relaxation.

Try this exercise when you experience a stressful feeling in your body or you have an overly busy mind.

1. Put your hand on your heart. Inhale slowly and gently at least three times, focusing on your hand on your chest.

2. Now remember a time when you felt good. Return to this memory.

3. Ask your heart how you can take better care of yourself.

4. Listen to what your heart is saying and act as soon as possible.

You can deal with mistakes

When we were babies we had to learn to walk. At first, of course, we kept falling.

Fortunately, our parents didn’t watch us fail on every flop to the floor and declared ruefully, “Oh dear, looks like you’ll never be a hiker.”

No. They encouraged us to keep trying. That’s exactly what we did until we got up and walked confidently on our own two feet.

People are not born without confidence – we just learn to doubt ourselves as life goes on and everything doesn’t go according to plan.

I define trust as a feeling of well-being in one’s own skin that is able to face everyday challenges, large or small, without being crippled by the fear of failure.

That’s not to say that confident people don’t fail. . . do it.

Again and again, like when they first learned to walk. It’s just that they interpret failure as the beginning of a journey rather than the bleak ending.

Let’s start by thinking about something that you believe you have failed in your own life. And ask yourself, “Have I really failed?”

Remember, not winning is not the same as failure.

No one is rejected, nor do things turn out exactly the way you wanted them to.

With that in mind, the first question you should ask yourself is so what?

So you didn’t win. So what? So it didn’t turn out exactly how you wanted it to. So what? So you got rejected. So what?

Remind yourself now that you are still alive – and that means you have another chance tomorrow to do something even more wonderful than what you feel have failed you.

In addition, you have learned lessons that will help you be successful in the future.

This is critical when it comes to building trust. High achievers see what others call “failure” only as a temporary setback. They even look forward to finding new ways to overcome a challenge.

After accepting that things did not go as they hoped, they ask themselves questions like: What is unique about this problem? How can I use this to my advantage? What do I have to do next to be successful?

Lockdown creates the perfect storm for something to go wrong in life. But these simple exercises will show you … How to relieve tension

Our confidence is weakened when life happens. Perhaps a business fails, you get into an argument with your partner, or you find yourself juggling many tasks and responsibilities.

Lockdown creates the perfect storm for something to go wrong.

Trying to work from home while remote learning is monitored; spending a lot of time with your partner; being robbed of the company by colleagues to bounce off ideas or seek professional reassurance.

So when something goes wrong, the first and foremost thing to do is forgive yourself. reminding yourself that none of this is intended as punishment for something you did or didn’t do – problems are part of life.

Not only do we need to be kind to one another in difficult times, we also need to be kind to ourselves.

The tools I want to share are the most reliable I know for overcoming difficulties and regaining confidence quickly no matter what is going on around you.

EYES

We will tap specific acupuncture points on your body.

The idea behind this exercise is that the code for any stressful feeling is stored in your brain like a computer program.

Wenn Sie darüber nachdenken, was Sie beunruhigt, während Sie genau in der von mir beschriebenen Reihenfolge auf diese Punkte tippen, können Sie Ihre Angstzustände, Ihren Stress oder Ihre Überforderung schnell reduzieren und mit Ihrem Leben weitermachen.

Ich möchte, dass Sie gleich an eine stressige Erfahrung denken. Seien Sie nicht zu überrascht, wenn Ihr Stress plötzlich verschwindet, wenn Sie meine Anweisungen ausgeführt haben.

Sie müssen sich einige Minuten lang wirklich konzentrieren können, da es wichtig ist, weiterhin über die Emotionen nachzudenken, die Sie ausgewählt haben, während Sie diesen Prozess durchlaufen und das Gefühl reduzieren.

Bevor Sie diese Technik ausführen, lesen Sie jeden Schritt durch, damit Sie wissen, was zu tun ist.

Konzentrieren Sie sich auf das, worüber Sie sich überfordert fühlen. Bewerten Sie nun die Belastung auf einer Skala von eins bis zehn, wobei eins die niedrigste und zehn die höchste ist.

Dies ist wichtig, da wir gleich sehen werden, wie weit Sie es reduziert haben.

Sie müssen weiterhin darüber nachdenken, was Sie in der folgenden Sequenz gestört hat.

Nehmen Sie zwei Finger von jeder Hand und tippen Sie ungefähr zehnmal direkt über eine Ihrer Augenbrauen.

Tippen Sie nun unter dasselbe Auge.

SCHLÜSSELBEIN

Tippen Sie anschließend unter Ihr Schlüsselbein. Denken Sie weiter darüber nach, was Sie gestört hat, und tippen Sie unter Ihre Achselhöhle.

Das mag zunächst seltsam erscheinen, aber es funktioniert und je mehr Sie es tun, desto mehr werden Sie sich an die Sequenz erinnern.

Denken Sie weiter über die stressige Erfahrung nach, während Sie auf Ihren Körper tippen.

HAND

Tippen Sie nun auf den Karate-Chop-Punkt an der Seite Ihrer Hand (es spielt keine Rolle, welche Hand Sie wählen).

Legen Sie diese Hand vor sich und tippen Sie an der Stelle zwischen den Knöcheln Ihres Ringfingers und des kleinen Fingers auf die Rückseite.

Tippen Sie weiter auf diesen Punkt und denken Sie dabei über die stressige Situation nach.

Schließen Sie Ihre Augen und öffnen Sie sie. Schauen Sie nach rechts, zurück in die Mitte und dann nach links.

Drehen Sie Ihre Augen um 360 Grad im Uhrzeigersinn und dann um 360 Grad gegen den Uhrzeigersinn.

Denken Sie immer noch darüber nach, was für Sie stressig war, und tippen Sie auf Ihre Hand. Brummen Sie die ersten Zeilen von Happy Birthday laut aus.

Zählen Sie jetzt laut von eins bis fünf. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5.) Brummen Sie erneut die ersten Zeilen von Happy Birthday. Kehren Sie zum Start zurück.

Denken Sie immer noch darüber nach, was Sie überwältigt hat, und tippen Sie über die Augenbraue, unter das Auge, unter Ihr Schlüsselbein, unter Ihre Achselhöhle und auf den Karate-Schnittpunkt Ihrer Hand.

HÖR ZU

OK, lass uns anhalten und nachsehen – auf einer Skala von eins bis zehn, wie hoch ist das Gefühl jetzt?

If the feeling of overwhelm hasn’t completely gone yet, simply go back through the entire sequence again until it does.

It may take as many as two or even three times before you have completely eliminated the feeling, although most people report getting the feeling down to a manageable level on their first or second try.

You can repeat this process as often as you like.

Drop your emotional anchor

In the same way that an anchor helps keep a boat steady in stormy seas, an emotional anchor helps you stay calm in your daily life.

But unlike the anchor of a boat, an emotional anchor actually gets stronger the more you use it. This exercise will help you to cultivate an inner calm.

Before you try this technique for yourself, read through each step so that you know exactly what to do.

1. Remember a time when you felt really, really calm, at peace and fully in control. Return to it now, seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard, and feeling how good you felt. If you can’t remember a time, imagine how wonderful it would feel to be totally at peace — if you had all the ease, comfort and self-control you could ever need.

2. As you keep running through this experience in your mind, make the colours brighter and richer, the sounds crisper, and feelings stronger.

When you are feeling these good feelings, squeeze the thumb and middle finger of your right hand together. You are associating the pressure in this place with this particular emotion.

Run through this memory several times until you feel a lovely sense of inner peace and calm.

3. Now go through this relaxing memory at least five more times while continuing to squeeze your thumb and middle finger together to lock in these good feelings. You will know you have done it enough when all you need to do is squeeze your fingers together and you easily remember the feelings of calm and relaxation spreading through your body.

4th Next, think about a situation that in the past you would have found mildly stressful. This time, squeeze the thumb and middle finger of your right hand together. Feel that calm feeling spreading through your body and imagine taking it with you into that stressful situation. Imagine everything going perfectly, exactly the way that you want. See what you’ll see, hear what you’ll hear and feel how good it feels to be calmer and in control.

5. Now, still squeezing your thumb and finger together, remember that calm feeling of control and once again imagine being in that situation that once seemed stressful. This time, imagine a few challenges and notice yourself handling the challenges well. See what you’ll see, hear what you’ll hear and feel how good it feels to be so much calmer and in control of this situation.

6. Stop and think about that situation now. Notice the difference from only a few minutes ago. Do you feel less stressed and more in control? If not, just repeat the exercise until you do!

Each time you do this exercise, it will become easier and easier.

What does being content look like?

What does happy look like to you? For me, if I were to imagine myself at my happiest, I would be in a beautiful park. My wife would be there, our dog running happily just ahead of us and we would be on our way to meet good friends.

The sun would be shining, and I’d feel its warmth on my skin. The glorious smell of freshly cut grass would tickle my nose. I would feel fit and well in my body; nothing aching, my mind would be free from troubles.

For you, happy might look rather different to this. But pinning down what makes you happy, and imagining yourself in that blissful state — seeing, feeling, hearing and smelling all that’s around you — is a really helpful exercise.

That’s because it brings to mind your true values: those things in life that matter the most to you.

My values are good health, loving and feeling loved by my wife; they are being in nature and the company of friends; they are family and my beloved pet dog.

As long as I have them in my life, able to spend time nurturing those elements of it, then I am living my values and, fundamentally, I am happy.

There are moments, of course, when I feel down or something bad happens that makes me feel sad.

Life can’t be one long utopian dream. But taking a little time each day in order to think about what you value most is a brilliant habit to get into.

And that’s because being happy is much more habit over circumstance than you might actually think.

Happy people aren’t that way through some stroke of luck. They chose, albeit sometimes subconsciously, to be happy — it is something they practise, that they work at, which is why they’ve become so good at it.

Too many of us confuse happiness with pleasure. Trust me, the two are not the same.

Pleasure is a bar of fine chocolate or a glass of good champagne.

Happiness is the backdrop against which you experience life — it’s when you’re living in conjunction with your values.

Seven ways to make yourself feel happy

Sadness is a natural part of being human. If it’s a response to an upsetting life event then the emotion tends to ease with time.

However, if you are generally feeling low, happiness is something over which you can have more control.

Here are some simple but surprisingly effective exercises that will help.

1. Time to look up

Changing your line of sight — getting into the habit of looking forwards and upwards instead focusing only on what is immediately in front of you — will make you much happier.

People who feel low tend to look downwards and they don’t see much further than a few yards in front of them.

It makes them feel like they are being hemmed in, and is strongly associated with feeling bad.

People who look up often, stretch their gaze all the way to the sky or the horizon and that automatically suggests space and the freedom of lots of possibilities.

Scientists have found that there is a hard-wired connection between our eye movements and our patterns of thought and feelings.

You can see a change in brain activity when people look upwards that is associated with the visual cortex and tends to cause the brain to generate more alpha waves which develop feelings of peace, comfort and well-being.

2.  Step into a new life

Think of someone you know or admire who is very happy.

Vividly imagine them standing in front of you. Notice what they are wearing, how they are standing, where they are looking and what they are doing.